Deadlines. Money. Lectures. Flatmates. Relationships. Exams. Emails you haven’t answered. A social life you’re trying to maintain. And somehow you’re also supposed to look after yourself.
Sometimes university can feel like everything is happening at once.
You might wake up already thinking about everything you need to do. You might spend the day jumping between lectures, assignments, work and messages, only to get back to your room and realise you’ve still got another three things to deal with.
Then you look at everyone else.
They seem to be managing.
They’re going out. They’re handing assignments in. They’re keeping up with their course. They’re cooking actual meals. They’re going to the gym. They’re seeing their friends.
Meanwhile, you’re wondering how you’re going to get through the week.
If that sounds familiar, you’re not necessarily doing anything wrong.
Sometimes there is simply too much going on.
University can be a lot
University isn’t just studying.
You’re potentially trying to manage an academic workload while also dealing with money, accommodation, relationships, friendships, family, work, health and all the ordinary stuff that comes with being an adult.
Student Minds identifies academic pressure, money worries and loneliness among the things that can contribute to students feeling overwhelmed. (Student Minds)
And there can be an additional pressure that nobody talks about:
You’re supposed to be enjoying it.
University is often presented as the best years of your life.
So when you’re stressed, lonely, exhausted or simply struggling to keep up, it can feel like you’re failing at university and failing to enjoy university.
You’re not.
How do you know when things are becoming too much?
There isn’t a magic point where ordinary university stress suddenly becomes something else.
But there are signs that the pressure you’re under might be worth taking seriously.
You might notice that you’re:
constantly worrying about everything you need to do
struggling to concentrate
finding it difficult to make decisions
feeling overwhelmed by relatively small tasks
avoiding emails, assignments or other responsibilities
struggling with your sleep
becoming unusually irritable or withdrawn
losing interest in things you normally enjoy
finding it difficult to keep up with everyday tasks
feeling like you can’t switch off
relying increasingly on alcohol or other things to cope
feeling like you simply cannot keep going at the same pace
Stress can affect people physically, mentally and behaviourally. The NHS lists experiences such as feeling overwhelmed, difficulty concentrating, worrying, changes in sleep and avoiding people or situations among possible signs of stress. (nhs.uk)
None of these things automatically mean that you have a mental-health condition.
But they can be useful signals that something needs attention.
You don’t have to fix everything today
When everything feels overwhelming, it’s tempting to make a giant list.
Sort university. Fix finances. Clean room. Catch up on lectures. Reply to everyone. Exercise. Eat better. Sleep properly. Make friends. Get your life together.
And then wonder why the list itself makes you feel worse.
Try making the question smaller.
Instead of:
“How am I going to sort my life out?”
ask:
“What is the next thing I actually need to deal with?”
It might be:
Send one email.
Eat something.
Submit the extension request.
Have a shower.
Go to bed.
Tell somebody you’re struggling.
You don’t need to solve the entire semester tonight.
Make your workload smaller
If you’ve got a huge assignment hanging over you, “write the assignment” is probably too big a task.
Break it down.
Instead of:
Write 2,500-word essay.
Try:
Find the assignment brief.
Then:
Find three useful sources.
Then:
Write some notes.
Then:
Write the introduction.
Then:
Take a break.
Breaking large tasks into smaller steps can make them feel more manageable. Student Minds recommends setting realistic goals and dividing academic work into smaller tasks when dealing with university pressure. (Student Minds)
You don’t need to feel motivated before starting.
Sometimes starting very small is what makes continuing possible.
Stop trying to do everything at once
When you’re overwhelmed, everything can feel urgent.
Your phone is buzzing.
Your emails are piling up.
There’s an assignment due.
Your friend wants to talk.
Your flat needs cleaning.
You need food.
You’ve got work tomorrow.
And suddenly you’re trying to deal with all of it simultaneously.
You probably won’t do any of those things particularly well.
Try separating things into three categories:
Now
Something genuinely time-sensitive or important.
Soon
Something that needs doing, but doesn’t need doing this minute.
Later
Something that can wait.
Then choose one thing from “Now.”
That’s it.
You can deal with the rest later.
Give yourself permission to take breaks
Taking a break isn’t the same as giving up.
If you’ve been staring at the same paragraph for an hour, continuing to stare at it probably isn’t a particularly effective use of your time.
Get up.
Make a drink.
Go outside.
Have something to eat.
Talk to somebody.
Watch something for a while.
Then come back to it.
Student Minds recommends building breaks into your study routine rather than focusing exclusively on academic work. (Student Minds)
Your brain isn’t a machine that can run indefinitely.
You don’t have to earn rest
This one can be difficult.
You might think:
“I’ll relax when I’ve finished everything.”
The problem is that university work can always produce another thing to do.
There will always be another reading.
Another lecture.
Another email.
Another deadline.
Another thing you could be doing.
Rest doesn’t have to be a reward for becoming completely caught up.
You are allowed to rest while there are still things on your to-do list.
Look at what’s actually causing the pressure
Sometimes “university is too much” is actually several different problems hiding underneath one sentence.
Maybe it’s money.
Maybe you’re struggling academically.
Maybe you’re lonely.
Maybe your accommodation is making you miserable.
Maybe you’re working too many hours alongside your course.
Maybe there’s something happening in your relationship.
Maybe you’re dealing with something at home.
Maybe you’re exhausted.
Or maybe it’s a combination of several things.
Try asking yourself:
“If I could remove one source of pressure from my life right now, what would make the biggest difference?”
You don’t necessarily need to solve everything.
Finding the biggest pressure point can be a good place to start.
Talk to someone before you’re completely overwhelmed
You don’t need to wait until you’re falling apart before telling somebody that you’re struggling.
You could tell:
a friend
your partner
a family member
your personal tutor
a lecturer
your Students’ Union
Student Services
your university wellbeing team
a counsellor
your GP
Many universities provide services including counselling, wellbeing support, student advice and academic support, although the names and services vary between institutions. Student Minds recommends checking your university’s website or asking Student Services or your Students’ Union if you’re unsure where to go. (Student Minds)
And you don’t need to know exactly what you need before contacting them.
You can say:
“I’m struggling at the moment and I’m not really sure what support I need.”
That’s a perfectly reasonable thing to say.
Asking for help isn’t admitting defeat
There can be a strange culture around university where asking for help feels like admitting that you’re not coping.
It isn’t.
If your laptop stops working, you ask someone to fix it.
If you don’t understand an assignment, you ask your tutor.
If you’re struggling financially, you look for financial support.
If you’re struggling emotionally, you can ask for support with that too.
The NHS notes that students don’t need to have a diagnosed mental-health condition to benefit from talking to someone about difficulties such as stress, anxiety, low mood, relationship problems or challenges associated with student life. (nhs.uk)
You don’t have to put a label on what you’re experiencing before you’re allowed to talk about it.
What if you’ve already fallen behind?
This is where things can become particularly difficult.
You miss one deadline.
Then you’re worried about explaining why.
So you avoid the email.
Then another deadline approaches.
You feel even worse.
So you avoid that one too.
Before long, you’ve got a pile of things you’re avoiding and the thought of opening your university inbox makes your stomach drop.
If this is happening, contact someone.
You might be surprised by how much easier things become once someone knows what’s going on.
Your university may have options around academic support, extensions, mitigating circumstances, reassessment or other arrangements. The exact processes vary, so check your institution’s guidance rather than assuming you’ve run out of options.
And if you’re not sure who to contact, start with Student Services.
You don’t need to figure out the university bureaucracy by yourself.
What about your mental health?
Feeling stressed during university is common.
But if you’re finding it increasingly difficult to cope, or things you’re trying yourself aren’t helping, it’s worth seeking professional support.
The NHS advises seeking help if you’re struggling to cope with stress, anxiety, fear or panic. Depending on where you live and your circumstances, support may be available through your GP, university services or NHS Talking Therapies. (nhs.uk)
You don’t have to wait until things become a crisis.
Getting support earlier can be easier than trying to recover after you’ve been struggling alone for a long time.
If you don’t know where to start
Try this:
1. Stop for a moment
Put the laptop down.
Take a breath.
Get yourself a drink.
2. Name what’s going on
Try writing down the things currently making life feel difficult.
Don’t worry about organising them.
Just get them out of your head.
3. Pick one thing
What’s the most urgent or important thing?
Deal with that first.
4. Tell someone
You don’t need a perfect explanation.
Try:
“I’ve got a lot going on at the moment and I’m struggling to keep up.”
5. Find out what support exists
Check your university’s Student Services or wellbeing pages.
If you don’t know which service you need, contact them anyway. They can help point you in the right direction. (Student Minds)
6. Give yourself some breathing room
You don’t have to sort everything today.
You don’t have to be the student who has everything together
There will probably be times during university when you feel completely on top of things.
And there will probably be times when you don’t.
That’s university.
It’s okay if your room is messy.
It’s okay if you’ve missed a lecture.
It’s okay if you’re behind on your reading.
It’s okay if your finances aren’t perfect.
It’s okay if you’re not having the university experience you imagined.
And it’s okay to ask for help.
You don’t have to wait until you’re completely overwhelmed before deciding that you deserve some support.
Sometimes the most useful thing you can do isn’t push harder.
Sometimes it’s stopping, taking stock and saying:
“This is too much for me to handle on my own right now.”
And then letting somebody help.
A little challenge for today
Don’t try to fix your entire life.
Just do one of these:
Send the email you’ve been avoiding.
Ask your tutor for help.
Check your university’s wellbeing support.
Tell a friend you’re struggling.
Write down everything that’s worrying you.
Break your biggest task into three smaller tasks.
Eat something and take a proper break.
Go outside for ten minutes.
Make an appointment with your GP or another appropriate support service.
One small step is still a step.
Need more support?
Your university should have information about the support available to students. If you don’t know which service to contact, Student Services or your Students’ Union can usually help direct you. (Student Minds)
If you’re struggling with your mental health and need urgent help, NHS 111 can help you find the appropriate service. If you or someone else is in immediate danger, call 999 or go to A&E.
For ongoing support, you can also speak to your GP or look into NHS Talking Therapies where available. (Student Minds)
